Lust affect

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Lust affect

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Among humans, men and women also report feelings of closeness, security, peace, and social comfort with a long-term partner, as well as mild euphoria when in contact and separation anxiety when apart for unusual periods.

The work of Sue Carter a behavioral endocrinologist at the University of Maryland , Tom Insel a neuroscientist at the Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center in Atlanta , and their colleagues has shown, however, that the primary hormones involved in the production of attachment behaviors in monogamous prairie voles are vasopressin and oxytocin.

Insel and his collaborators have recently studied a gene associated with the receptor binding vasopressin.

Because the gene family that includes vasopressin and oxytocin is found in all mammals and birds, and because humans share variations of these basic bodily substances, it seems probable that vasopressin and oxytocin are also involved in feelings of attachment in men and women.

And there is no question that attachment is a distinct neural system. Spouses in arranged marriages and long marriages frequently maintain a visible attachment to one another, express feelings of attachment, and display mutual parental duties—without displaying or reporting feelings of attraction or sexual desire for this mate.

Marital or other long-term attachment is a hallmark of humanity. Just about every decade, the United Nations publishes data on marriage and divorce in societies around the world.

When I surveyed the available data for 97 societies in the s, I found that 93 percent of women and 92 percent of men had married by age 49; currently 91 percent of Americans marry by age Almost all men and women in traditional societies wed.

While some 83 percent of these cultures permit a man to take more than one wife at once, in about two-thirds of them, fewer than 20 percent of men actually take two or more wives simultaneously; in the balance of these societies only around 20 percent of men engage in polygyny at some point during their lives.

Just one half of one percent of cultures permit a woman to take more than one husband simultaneously. In sum, the vast majority of human beings everywhere marry one person at a time, the practice scientists call monogamy or pair bonding.

With the emergence of an upright human stride, females became obliged to carry their infants in their arms instead of on their backs.

How could a female carry the equivalent of a pound bowling ball in one arm and tools and weapons in the other, and still protect and provide for herself effectively?

Females began to need a mate to help them while they nursed and carried young. But he could defend and provide for a single female and her infant.

So, over time, natural selection favored those with the genetic propensity to form pair bonds—and the human brain chemistry for attachment evolved.

Human monogamy is not always permanent, of course. Almost everywhere in the world, divorce is permitted and practiced. I maintain that even this human tendency stems in part from the brain circuits associated with the emotion system for attachment, although many cultural factors contribute to the relative frequency of divorce in a given society.

Divorce rates, for example, are correlated with economic autonomy; in societies where spouses are relatively economically independent of one another, divorce rates are high.

But several patterns for divorce, derived from the statistics on 62 industrial and agricultural societies in the Demographic Yearbooks of the United Nations, occur both where divorce rates are high and where divorce is rare.

Among these patterns, the United Nations data indicate that people tend to divorce during and around the fourth year of marriage, and often while in their twenties, the height of reproductive and parenting years.

Men and women also most frequently abandon a partnership that has produced no children or one dependent child; and most divorced individuals of reproductive age remarry.

Moreover, the longer the union lasts, the older the spouses get, and the more children they bear, the more likely a couple is to remain together.

There are many exceptions to these patterns, but, overall, people around the world tend to form a series of attachments. A look at attachment behavior in other species suggests that these patterns are innate.

Serial pair bonding is common in birds. Individuals in more than 90 percent of the approximately 9, species of birds form a pair bond at the beginning of the mating period.

But in more than half of these avian species, partners do not pair for life; they go their separate ways at the end of the breeding season.

Only 3 percent of mammals form pair bonds to rear their young, but the same habit of seasonal pairing prevails. For example, red foxes pair only for the breeding season.

A male and female become a pair in mid-winter and rear their young together through the early summer months. But when the kits begin to wander, the dog fox and the vixen split to forage independently.

Humans tend to divorce during and around the fourth year after marrying. This conforms to the traditional period between human successive births, which is also four years.

Thus modern serial marriage patterns are probably a remnant of an ancestral breeding season. This restlessness in long relationships probably has a physiological correlate in the brain.

That correlate is not yet known, but I suspect that, over time, either the receptor sites for attachment chemicals become over-stimulated, or the brain produces less of these compounds, leaving the individual susceptible to estrangement and divorce.

Countless human habits, traditions, and artifacts stem from the evolution of these three emotion systems: lust, attraction, and attachment.

But these brain systems also contribute to the worldwide incidence of rape, stalking, homicide, suicide, and clinical depression, as well as the frequency of adultery and divorce.

Are we puppets on a string of DNA? Can we control our sexual and family lives? Should scientists seek ways to medicate stalkers and spouse abusers?

Should lawyers, judges, and legislators view the serial rapist as a chemically disabled person? For example, I believe that brain chemistry plays a role in many serious, violent crimes.

As scientists learn more about the brain, more lawyers and judges will be obliged to take this biological component into consideration in deciding the punishment of serial rapists, stalkers who murder, and perennial spouse abusers.

Here is my supposition. Along with the evolution of the brain circuits for the sex drive, romantic love, marriage, and divorce, other brain networks emerged as well.

The most important was a neural system that enables us to rise above our inappropriate or inconvenient mating tendencies. Central to this system is the prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain that lies directly behind the forehead; this expanded dramatically during human prehistory.

Using the prefrontal cortex and its connections, we also reason hypothetically, analyze contingencies, consider options, plan for the future, and make decisions.

The mind assembles data in novel patterns, so with the emergence of the prefrontal cortex, humans acquired a brain mechanism that enabled them to behave in unique ways—ways qualitatively different from behavior emanating from biology or experience alone.

Indeed, given the impressive decision-making power of the prefrontal cortex, this agglomeration of brain tissue is probably the locus of what we term, variously, the self, ego, or psyche.

In other words, I believe that biology and culture—nature and nurture—are but two of the major forces shaping human behavior.

The third is our psyche, our capacity for reason, choice, and self-directed action. The three forces always interact, of course. Biology predisposes us to love in general ways.

Cultural experiences modify those predispositions, overriding some, accentuating others. Yet each of us assimilates the forces of biology and culture in his own fashion.

We are capable of monitoring and at times overriding the power of lust, attraction, attachment, and detachment.

We have evidence of that power. Some 75 percent of American men and 85 percent of American women report that they are not adulterous.

Half of all Americans marry for life. Alnutt, is something we were put on this earth to rise above. Because of this brain architecture, I think that those in the medical and legal communities will come to be convinced that most men and women have the physiological capacity to refrain from stalking a rejecting partner.

Most people can overcome their restlessness in long relationships; and most can say no to adultery and divorce. Certainly physicians should continue to use their knowledge of brain chemistry to alleviate the clinical depression that can be associated with romantic rejection.

Even stalkers probably should be treated chemically. But from the perspective of the legal and medical communites, most of us are, in large part, responsible for how we love.

But this academic knowledge can never destroy the actual satisfaction, craving, or ecstasy of loving. From deep in the emotional furnace of the mind comes chemistry that carries the magic of love.

How can we really know whether what we have with a partner is something truly lasting or just some kind of residual sex haze? I think most of us believe that we would make better relationship decisions if there were a hard and fast way to tell the difference.

And in terms of confusing love and lust, she says that the two are very closely aligned, both in experience and biology. And that kaleidoscope can change based on experience, age or other environmental factors.

But she couldn't offer any concrete, nitty-gritty answer about how to tell the two apart. Jim Pfaus, a researcher at Concordia University, has also looked at the brain in love and lust.

Like Fisher, he's found that love and sex are distinct, yet overlapping. But he believes that lust can often lead to love.

And it all comes down to our striatums and insulas. Pfaus has found that love and desire activate different parts of the striatum.

Lust may not just impact the hypothalamus, but also the ventral striatum, an important part of the brain's reward system.

But he also found that desire was linked to insula activation. The insula sometimes referred to as the insular cortex lies deep within the cerebral cortex.

It is responsible for giving meaning to emotional states. And this, Pfaus argues, means that lust can often transition into love over time. Of course, Pfaus' study still doesn't tell us how, in the heat of the moment, we can decide whether we are feeling the headiness of love or desire.

But it provides a little bit more insight into why it's so easy to be confused. And also supports the idea that a little lust can, eventually, lead to love Artist's conceptual drawing of the Psyche spacecraft, which will be used to directly explore 16 Psyche.

This week, Big Think is partnering with Freethink to bring you amazing stories of the people and technologies that are shaping our future. Big Think Edge.

Videos 1 in 5 vegetative patients is conscious. This neuroscientist finds them. Lust that causes sex and run is even worse.

Sex and run is an ugly thing full of selfishness and irresponsibility. I have been in this situation a couple of times.

I went out with a guy for a year and a half which ended up being a waste of time. I thought I loved him but really I just loved being with someone cause I was afraid of being alone.

He only wanted me for my body… that was all. Aimee Rose sent me a really cool comment I had never thought of before.

Lust will die in an instant if it is not being fed. In fact, lust can turn to anger when it is rejected.

About 6 months ago I was with this guy and I thought it was love. I mean he said all the right things done all the right things.

I really thought I was in love but it turned out that relationship was no were near love. Lust attacks not only guys, but females as well.

You deserve so much better. You are worth so much more. Remember, lust kills, but love brings life. This artilce does a nice job of describing the characteristic of lust, but fails miserably regarding love.

The problem lies not completely with lust, that is an oversimplification. Yes, lust is terrible when it becomes the end goal, but most often, physical affection is a need, a type of love language that a person requires from their partner to nurture and maintain the relationship.

Also, where men are easily blinded by the dysfunction of lust as an end goal instead of a nurturing love, women are blinded by the entitlement created by charity and security; comfort and ease become the goal instead of a love within the context of equal investment and pursuit of individual character growth.

If I had a dollar for everytime equality didnt apply within the confines of a relationship…. I have been in a relationship for a bit over 8 months right now with a very loving boyfriend, and both of us want to wait until marriage for sex but I keep having thoughts about sexually pleasuring him.

I believe what you are experiencing is love. Love is selfless act. By you wanting to pleasure him and figure out the things that will turn him on, you are thinking in terms of his sexual interests not yours initially.

Love is all about giving in the moment while lust is all about taking the moment over. There is nothing wrong about being turned on when you are alone, all that seems to be is excitement and anticipation.

I think you are on the right path as far as distinguishing love and lust apart from each other. Ultimately, if what you are feeling is mutual and maybe even reciprocated then that is an ideal relationship.

Lust is destructive. I kept seeing this guy because the sex made me feel alive. Other than the times in bed I rejected him, over and over.

I felt like I could use him, that he would let me use him and I took advantage of that. He stayed because he believed in the good of people, I stayed because I knew I could use him.

It took a couple months for me to realize how extremely unhealthy the situation was and how much self rejection and disrespect was part of it.

Yet, I kept in touch with him for 2,5 month after the last time I saw him and he let me.

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